


Love Differently

by Spunky0ne



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: A little angst, M/M, Mention of underage sex in Chapter 5, Some Emotional Hurt/Comfort, just a misunderstanding, major fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:06:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28430619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spunky0ne/pseuds/Spunky0ne
Summary: Upon their arrival in Saint Petersburg, it quickly becomes apparent that Victor and Yuuri have different expectations. When Yuuri moves out of Victor’s home only days after moving in, a misunderstanding erupts. But sometimes all things need is a little bit of Eros and Agape…
Relationships: Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky, Victuuri - Relationship
Comments: 49
Kudos: 96





	1. He Said, He Said...

**Author's Note:**

> Installment 5 in the 12 Days of Vic-mas!

Yurio stood, leaned against the guardrail at the street crossing where he always met Victor in the mornings. With the arrival of late spring, the air was warm and comfortable and it was nice, he thought, to have a moment to enjoy the sights and sounds around him. As much as Yurio lived to skate, since meeting his new boyfriend, Otabek Altin, he was learning to appreciate the little things. He looked into the cars that went by on the overcrossing, studying the faces of the people inside as they passed.

“You’re late,” he said absently as Victor arrived (not that he really minded).

Victor said nothing and just started to walk on to the ice rink.

“Hey,” Yurio called out, catching up to him, “what’s wrong with you? You’re late and then you just walk by me like I’m not there? What? Did the piggy tire you out with all of the disgusting making out and…”

“Yuuri moved out.”

Yurio’s feet stopped.

“What?” he snapped, “Victor!”

Victor stopped, but kept his eyes focused on the ground in front of him.

“What the hell?” Yurio said angrily, “He just arrived with you a few days ago and already he got bored with you and moved on? I’ll _kill him_!”

Yurio started to push past the elder skater to go back in the direction Victor had come from, but Victor’s hand wrapped around his wrist.

“Wh…?”

“Stop,” Victor said in a low, defeated tone, “It’s fine, okay? Yuuri…didn’t get bored with me. At least, I don’t think he did. He said that…he just couldn’t impose and he was uncomfortable with sleeping with me in my bed…”

“Too much information!” Yurio shouted, “Enough already, okay?”

He studied Victor’s downcast expression and slightly red eyes.

“It’s my fault,” Victor said softly, turning away from him, “I came on too strong and Yuuri rejected me. Just…let it go.”

As Victor turned away, Yurio noticed the ring was missing from his teammate’s ring finger.

“Damn,” he mused, “this is serious.”

He remained quiet as he and Victor walked to the rink, but as soon as they arrived, he quickly found Otabek as the Kazakhstani skater was arriving.

“Yuri,” Otabek greeted him, embracing his boyfriend and indulging in a warm, lingering kiss, “good morning.”

He paused and looked more closely at Yurio’s troubled expression.

“Hey, is something wrong?”

Yurio sighed heavily and indicated where Victor had changed into his skates and was warming up on the ice with Yakov watching.

“You’re going to need lots of practice to make up for running away for half the season,” the old coach scolded Victor, “I hope you came prepared to work hard.”

Yurio rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“Asshole. He knows of everyone here, Victor works the hardest on his training. He’s just still mad that Victor ran off to Japan against his wishes.”

“Looks like,” Otabek agreed, “but you don’t want to get him mad at you too. Let’s go and warm up.”

Yurio followed, stealing glances at Victor as his teammate finished his warmup and began working on his new program. Yakov scowled and yelled at him intermittently.

“So, what happened?” Otabek asked as the two worked near each other on the ice, “You look kind of worried about your friend there.”

“He’s not my…!” Yurio began.

He broke off and shook his head.

“I don’t know what’s wrong. Victor said that Katsudon moved out.”

Otabek gave him a surprised look.

“Yuuri moved out?” he repeated, “But Yuuri just arrived a few days ago. I thought that they were happy. Yuuri acted happy to be here.”

“Maybe he is, but even if he’s happy to be here, I guess he wasn’t happy living with Victor, so he moved out and now Victor is a mess.”

The two watched in surprise as Victor attempted a jump and fell. He climbed to his feet amidst a flurry of harsh words from his coach and tried the jump again. This time, he landed it, but wobbled slightly.

“Do you see now?” Yakov chided him, “You put your mind too much on other things. You give too much attention to your new boyfriend and not enough to your own skating.”

“Yakov, can you please not yell so much?” Victor sighed dispiritedly, “You’re making my head hurt. And you’re wrong about Yuuri. I can’t pay him any attention except in practice, because he moved out.”

“Well, if that’s all…Wait a minute, WHAT?” Yakov shouted.

“I told you not to yell at me,” Victor complained, covering his ears, “I already have a headache.”

“What did you just tell me?” Yakov asked, only slightly lowering his voice.

“I told you that Yuuri moved out,” Victor said matter-of-factly.

“Huh,” the elder man grunted, giving Victor a confused look, “He just…left?”

Victor sighed.

“Of course not. First, he told me that he was uncomfortable imposing on me by living with me and taking up time when I could be training.”

“I’ve told you that and you just ignored me.”

“Yuuri isn’t a burden, Yakov,” Victor argued in a hurt tone, “I may have to work harder with him here and I did make space for him in my home, but I _wanted_ to do those things. Yuuri didn’t make me do them.”

“Did you tell him this?”

“Yes, I told him, but I think that there were other reasons he wasn’t saying. I told him that too, and I could see it was true by how he reacted, but he wouldn’t tell me. I suppose I know, though. It’s probably things like I wanted him to sleep with me and I sleep naked…”

“Vitya,” Yakov interrupted, glancing at the other skaters in the area, most of whom were staring at them, “maybe we’d better talk in my office.”

Mila and Georgi joined Otabek and Yurio on the ice, and the four stood, listening, as Yakov’s raised, but muffled voice came through the door. Victor sat down in a chair opposite his frustrated coach, covering his ears now and again when Yakov shouted. He offered a few replies too softly for the others to hear. After nearly five full minutes, Victor stood and walked out of the office. As he emerged, the other skaters swiftly scattered, trying to look as though they hadn’t been listening for all they were worth. Victor ignored all of them and just changed back into his street shoes, threw his pack over his shoulder and left. Yurio started to follow, but was stopped by Yakov’s voice.

“Yuri!”

“Geez, old man, what are you yelling at me for? I didn’t do anything wrong!”

Yakov’s already angry scowl deepened.

“I am coaching Yuuri Katsuki for a few days…”

“What’s that got to do with me?”

“…and you are going to work with him on his jumps.”

“What?” Yurio complained, “Why do I have to train the stupid piggy? I didn’t tell him to come here and rile everyone up! Victor brought him here, so he should be Katsudon’s damned coach, not me!”

“Victor is on vacation,” the old coach grunted.

Yuri’s eyes blazed and his face turned red.

“VACATION? The bastard is taking a VACATION? What the fuck was he doing for months in Hasetsu?”

“He was training Yuuri Katsuki,” Yakov sighed, “You don’t think coaching is work?”

“Of course I know it’s work. But, you know, I was there and Victor spent way more time in the hot springs or out drinking than he spent coaching. If he was tired, he should have done less screwing around!”

“Whatever. He is on vacation for a few days and we will train Yuuri Katsuki while he is gone.”

“Damn it!” Yurio snapped, ramming his toe pick into the ice, “That’s such bullshit!”

“You are telling me,” Yakov huffed, turning back into the office and slamming the door behind him.

The door opened and the old coach peeked out again.

“Oh, and Victor said you and Otabek are going to take care of Maccachin.”

The door slammed shut.

“What?”

Yurio heard the old poodle whimper and looked over to where Maccachin stood at the rink entrance, wagging his tail and whining.

“What the hell?”

“He’ll be no trouble,” Otabek said, smiling.

“You don’t know him like I do,” Yurio complained, “He’s just like Victor.”

“Yeah, he is, isn’t he?”

XXXXXXXXXX

Yuuri woke to the sound of soft music on his phone, a notification of the waking time he had set the night before. He opened his eyes, and for a moment, found himself slightly disoriented as he took in the unfamiliar surroundings.

_Oh right._

_I told Victor I’d found this apartment and I moved out after practice yesterday._

He sighed softly, looking over at the suitcase he’d brought.

_I should go over and get the rest of my things while Victor is at the rink. I suppose it will be easier that way._

_I hope he isn’t still upset._

He sat up in bed and looked down quietly at the gold ring on his finger, his heart fluttering as he remembered Victor placing it on him and smiling so lovingly.

_But he was really, really upset yesterday when I told him I couldn’t stay with him anymore. I tried telling him that I didn’t want to be a burden to him, and I really don’t._

A feeling of worry made his insides hurt and he bent forward and put his face in his hands.

_But Victor was right when he said that there was more. The problem is, I couldn’t explain it. I love Victor so much, and I am so grateful to him for all he’s done for me. I wouldn’t still be skating if it wasn’t for him coming to Hasetsu to coach me._

_Victor changed the course of my life._

_I also changed his._

_I guess part of what I was having trouble saying…is that I get scared that the change I made to Victor’s life might not be good for him. He was still jet-lagged and so tired after we arrived, but he went to train the next day anyway...even though he told me to rest. It’s hard watching him strain himself, getting used to training and coaching at the same time._

Yuuri climbed out of the bed and walked to the window. He looked out into the sky, then let his gaze fall to the Saint Petersburg beach he knew Victor visited almost every day. One hand reached out and his fingertips brushed against the cold, smooth windowpane. He closed his eyes, thinking more deeply.

_It wasn’t just that, though._

Little flashes of memory made his heart beat faster and a little sweat broke out on his face.

_He stood in the entry to Victor’s house, suitcase in hand and marveling at seeing it looked much as it had in the last photo shoot that had been done there. Everything looked clean and perfectly placed…almost as though…_

_“It hardly looks like you live here,” he commented before thinking things through._

_“W-well,” Victor said, following his gaze, “a lot of this stuff was just sent back from Japan, so I hired someone to put things where they go and my cleaning lady made sure things were dusted and tidy for us.”_

_“You have a cleaning lady?” he asked._

_Victor gave him a curious look._

_“A lot of people hire out work like that, Yuuri. It’s not unusual, right?”_

_“No,” Yuuri answered, blushing a little, “But since we’re both here and you’re taking care of me, I can clean. I clean at the hot spring when…”_

_“You don’t have to clean my house, Yuuri,” Victor said, giving him a more mystified look, “You’re going to be busy training and when we’re not training, I’ll show you all of the best things about Saint Petersburg.”_

_“There would still be time to clean,” Yuuri said under his breath as Victor grabbed his hand and led him to the large master bedroom and huge master bathroom, “Whoa!”_

_“Here, let me get that,” Victor said, reaching for his bag, “You can use the bureau over…”_

_“Oh, that’s okay,” Yuuri said quickly, holding the suitcase away, “Just tell me where the guest room is and I’ll put it away and get settled in.”_

_“Guest room?” Victor repeated, “You’re not a guest, Yuuri. We’re living together. You’ll sleep with me.”_

_“Wait! What? Victor!”_

_Victor’s head tilted and he frowned._

_“What’s wrong, Yuuri? You’re my fiancé, right? We announced it to everyone in Barcelona that we would get married when you won a gold medal. I’m sure you’ll do that soon and we’re not living in your parents’ house anymore. This is going to be our home together, so why should we not sleep together?”_

_Yuuri paled._

_“But you sleep n-naked…”_

_Victor let out an annoyed sigh._

_“Yuuri, we bath naked and you see me naked a lot every day. Why does it trouble you to think of sleeping with me naked? And we’re going to be married, right?”_

_“Um…ah, yes, but…” Yuuri stammered._

_“You didn’t think that we would get married, but not have sex, right? Eventually, we will have sex. That’s hard to do if you’re in the guest room and your husband is in here.”_

“Too fast,” Yuuri whispered anxiously, “too fast, too fast, too fast!”

_Sure, I can say it now, but I didn’t know what that feeling was when Victor was looking at me with such hurt eyes and beginning to get angry. Then, he started scolding me in Russian. I knew he wasn’t going to like it, but I thought if I just got an apartment for awhile, we could slow down and I could get used to all of these new things._

_I’ve never had a lover. Even now, Victor and I haven’t had sex. I know he’s not a virgin._

_Victor and I are pretty different._

_But it’s okay._

_Now that I have this place to go to think, I can slow down and get used to the new things. I just hope Victor isn’t still angry. He told me it was fine if I felt I needed to go, but his eyes said something different, like he was afraid to say no to me…to press me any more._

Yuuri left the window area and went into the bathroom to dress. He emerged a few minutes later and left the apartment building, smiling a little as he headed down the street, towards the neighborhood where Victor lived.

_It’s nice here. I think I’ll like it. It’s different from Japan and it’s not like Detroit, but it feels friendly. I have an app on my phone, so I can communicate when I need to, and I will learn Russian, now that I’m here, just like I learned to speak English when I was in the USA. Victor’s taught me some words._

Yuuri stifled a little snicker as he recalled Victor scolding him for his mistakes in practice.

_Not all of the words I learned from him are nice ones._

He walked through a little park, taking his time and enjoying the fresh air, the green grass and waving trees. He paused by a fountain at the center and took a selfie. He sat down on the fountain’s cement wall and sent the selfie to Phichit, who swiftly sent back a big smiley emoji with heart eyes. He bit his lip gently and sent it to Victor, but there was no reply.

_He’s probably busy practicing._

Yuuri continued on, absently listening for the notification of Victor’s reply. He reached the street Victor lived on and jogged up to the house. A little relieved sigh escaped him as he noted that the lights inside were off and the house was quiet.

_I’ll just get the last few things and take them to the apartment._

He used the key that Victor had given him (and had refused to take back when he moved out).

He paused in the entry, frowning as he caught Victor’s scent.

_It’s like he was just here a minute ago._

Stepping forward, he bent to pick up the two small boxes of his things, and that’s when he spotted the note. He picked it up and felt his insides tighten as he read.

_Yuuri,_

_I decided (or rather, Yakov did) that I need a break before continuing my training. Yakov knows where I’ve gone in case of any emergencies. Otabek and Yurio can take care of Maccachin or you can if you want. Either way is fine._

_I’m sorry about our argument yesterday. It was hard hearing that I was making you so uncomfortable that you couldn’t even live in the same house with me. I came back to Saint Petersburg, happy that the house wouldn’t feel so empty and that you wouldn’t have to sneak into my room at night to make out with me. I thought that us living together would be good for us. I didn’t realize you didn’t want the same things I do. But I suppose it’s good that you told me now. Girls have broken up with me a lot, so it’s probably my fault. I just wish I knew what I did wrong, because I thought we were both happy to be moving in together. If you didn’t want to live with me, you should have just told me before._

_But, if you’re not able to tell me when we have a problem, that says something important about the two of us. I don’t know what it says, but I’m trying to figure it out._

_I don’t want to frighten you or make you anxious, Yuuri. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable when you have to be around me. Think of the next few days as time for us to slow down and think about what we want. Maybe when I come home, we can talk about whether we both want the same things. Until we decide, it isn’t right for me to act as though I have some claim on you. If and when we find we are on the same page, you can give this back to me. Just…don’t do it unless you mean that you want to be married to me. It’s okay if you don’t want that, but you should be honest and tell me now if that’s not what you want._

_Victor_

Yuuri’s eyes rounded and he put a hand over his mouth as he looked down and spotted Victor’s gold ring on the table next to where the note had been. Tears welled up in the corners of his eyes and rolled onto his face.

_Oh no!_

_He doesn’t understand. He thought I was breaking up with him? He…thought I was breaking up with him!_

_Victor…!_

Dropping the note onto the floor, he dashed out of the house, headed for the Saint Petersburg ice rink.


	2. Reflections on Ice

_I don’t know why Yakov forced me to take a vacation_ , Victor mused, looking out the window of the car as it carried him up a curving mountain road, _I don’t usually try to find answers by running away from my problems. It seems more like my problems run from me._

He sighed wearily, remembering how quiet the house had been after Yuuri’s departure.

_Yuuri, in particular, has a habit of running away. After the Sochi Grand Prix final, I asked him if he wanted to have a photo taken and he turned and left. After dancing so beautifully and completely seducing me at the banquet, he disappeared the next morning and I didn’t see him again until Yuko’s daughters uploaded the viral video of him._

_Still, even after coaching him and giving him all he asked for, everything he wanted from me, Yuuri tried to end things at the Grand Prix Final. After putting his ring on my finger, he was going to leave me again._

He sighed raggedly and closed his eyes.

_Why am I even surprised he got spooked and ran away from living with me? If I had been thinking straight and not wrapped up in my excitement and emotions, I might have seen the pattern in his behavior and known to do something to stop this from happening._

_But there isn’t anything I can do now. I have to find a way to just accept that Yuuri doesn’t want to be my lover or get married to me. All he ever directly asked of me was for me to be his coach. He didn’t ask me to kiss him so impulsively after the China Cup free skate. He didn’t actually ask me to marry him. I read his behavior, and I thought those things were things we both wanted._

_Maybe they weren’t…and maybe Yuuri just didn’t know how to tell me that. He is inexperienced in communicating his love. He’s learned a lot as my student, but I was the one who kissed him and started pressuring him to return my love. I see, looking back, how he was always hesitating, always digging in his feet a little and complaining, but he never objected to that kiss or to us making out. And when we were separated while Maccachin was ill and Yuuri had to do the free skate with Yakov as his coach, he looked as desperate for our reunion as I was. There was no hesitation in his embrace or his kisses then._

_It's so confusing._

He tried to stop thinking and just sink into the blue of the sky, the puffy clouds or the green of the trees.

_But as beautiful as the scenery is, there is one thing more beautiful to me than this…someone who is so beautiful to me that it seems like the sun stops shining whenever he goes away._

He swallowed hard, feeling a little flush of embarrassment.

_I should probably be more of an adult about this. Maybe it’s like Yakov said, and I should just grow up and stop daydreaming so much. I do daydream a lot about Yuuri. When he’s not with me, I’m usually thinking about him…whether it’s remembering something fun we did, catching sight of something or smelling something that reminds me of him, hearing a voice or laughter that sounds like his or thinking about what we’ll do when he comes back. All of those things give me the fluttery feelings of love. I’m able to be happy even when Yuuri’s not there, because he inspires all of these happy thoughts and connections that sustain my spirits until I see him again. Nothing is ever as good as when he is there, but these other things are sweet too._

He felt tears threatening again and a lonely throb made his heart ache in his chest.

_Does Yuuri experience any of these things too? Does he miss me? But how could he if he was the one who didn’t want to live with me? Is he glad I’m not there, bugging him for kisses and flustering him all of the time?_

_Ugh…now I wish I had brought Maccachin to hug._

_Why did I leave him behind?_

_Oh, right…I was worried that he would miss Yuuri too much. When I was in Japan, he slept mostly in Yuuri’s room. I wonder if Yuuri realized that he was leaving Maccachin behind too. But, Maccachin is more understanding and forgiving than me. As long as he is loved, he is happy._

_Me?_

_I can be lonely at any time, even if I am surrounded by people who adore me._

_Why?_

_Maybe because, while there are many people who think they love me, few know what I’m really like. Hmm, I have quite a history of dating girls who got to know me better and discovered that what they loved wasn’t really me. Not that it was their fault. I’m not myself all of the time. I’ve learned to give people what they want so that they will support me as a skater. Yes, I market that image very well._

_Yuuri didn’t want any of that. He’d known all along that what I showed people in news clips and interviews wasn’t really me. Yuuri got to know me through my skating…and when I skate, that is the real me. I bring something genuine and personal to every program, so when he put together the years of programs, Yuuri really seemed to know me._

_But just like with my girlfriends of the past, when he got closer, he realized that I wasn’t what he wanted._

_Damn._

His somber mood lightened only slightly as the car approached the entrance to the mountain retreat he sometimes visited for stamina training or for rest and reflection. He was quiet as the car stopped and he climbed out and turned his bag over to the valet.

“Vitya?”

He startled at the sound of the deep, familiar voice, then a little tiny shiver went through his insides. He turned his head and took in the sight of the dashing blue-eyed man approaching him. Instantly, he was taken back in time.

_“Hurry, Georgi!” Victor urged his younger teammate as the two raced through the locker room, “He’s up next. I don’t want to miss it!”_

_They hurried out the other end of the locker room and into the team viewing section of the Moscow ice rink. Many of the seats were already occupied, but the two teens found a pair of open seats in the third row and stepped carefully past the skaters who were already seated, whispering hasty apologies as they went. They dropped into their seats, panting softly as the lights lowered and a tall blonde man with brilliant blue eyes and a sparkling navy costume skated out to center ice._

_“Oh my god,” Victor gushed, laying a hand over his pounding heart, “look at his costume, Georgi! It’s amazing!”_

_“You don’t think it’s a tad too plain?” Georgi teased him, smirking, “It needs some frills or something, right?”_

_“Shut up!” Victor giggled, swatting at him, “It’s perfect!”_

_Victor leaned forward, his blue-green eyes wide and dreamy as the music began and the skater began to move._

_“He’s such an artist! I mean, he isn’t as skilled technically as some of the other top skaters, but…the way he moves, Georgi, and his turns and spins! Wow…”_

_Georgi chuckled, watching Victor as his friend ogled the elder skater shamelessly. Victor’s adoring eyes rounded as Antosha swept towards them, and their eyes locked for what Victor imagined was just for a moment, but in that moment, he went giddy and breathless, held under the older man’s spell. A little sound of agony escaped him as Antosha turned and danced away._

_“You’re hopeless, you know that, Victor?” Georgi teased._

“It _is_ you!” Antosha exclaimed, “What a surprise! Yakov didn’t tell us you were coming.”

Victor gave the man a flustered smile.

“I don’t think Yakov knew you were here,” he reasoned, “What are you doing here, _Antosha_?”

“You really are out of the loop,” the blonde man laughed, taking Victor’s hand firmly, then pulling him closer and hugging him enthusiastically, “I finally had enough money to do what I wanted to do for so long, and I bought the place.”

Victor gave him a surprised and impressed look.

“You’re the owner now?” he asked.

“I own every bit of the place,” Antosha affirmed, looking around proudly, “Lock, stock and barrel, my old friend.”

“Old?” Victor repeated, arching an eyebrow.

“I was just kidding,” Antosha laughed, continuing to hold Victor close to him and looking into his slightly narrowed eyes, “You…look as beautiful as ever. Shorter hair…but except for that, you look the same.”

“Liar,” Victor scoffed, tugging his way free and stepping back slightly, “I’m not sixteen anymore.”

Antosha let out a little huff of breath and his eyes softened.

“No, but that’s not a bad thing, right? I can’t accuse you of being naïve, now can I?”

The older man made a little sound of surprise at the pensive look his words brought to Victor’s lovely face.

“What is it?” he asked, reaching out and laying a hand on Victor’s arm.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Victor laughed disarmingly, “I’m just…tired from the long drive.”

“Don’t you worry about that,” Antosha said, brightening, “Let’s get you checked in, then you can…”

“I really just need to rest today.”

“Nonsense,” Antosha laughed, “Pavel, please help Victor get checked in and settled into his room. A suite, Vitya?”

“Oh…yes, thank you. I didn’t make a reservation, though.”

“No problem,” Antosha said easily, “I’ve got you.”

As the three men turned towards the desk, a middle-aged woman in the lobby looked down at several pictures she’d taken on her cell phone, then she typed a quick message and attached them.

“Victor Nikiforov and Antosha Karlovsky? Hmm…It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?”

XXXXXXXXXX

Yuuri burst into the Saint Petersburg ice rink entrance and hurried through, to the main rink, where a number of skaters were working on their programs as Yakov and another coach stood watching. Yakov spotted Yuuri and waved him over.

“It’s about time you got here,” the old coach complained, “You are as aware of time as your coach, I see?”

“Coach Feltsman…”

“Go and put your skates on,” Yakov snapped, “I don’t have all day.”

“But…”

“I said, get your skates on!” Yakov shouted, “Don’t speak to me again until they’re on.”

“But…”

Yuuri sighed and shook his head as the coach turned away abruptly. He looked helplessly at Mila, who gave him a little shrug.

“I think you’re going to have to do what he says or he won’t talk to you.”

“But,” Yuuri said, sitting down and starting to remove his street shoes, “Victor left.”

“I know,” Mila acknowledged, “We all heard Yakov yelling at him because he did so poorly in practice this morning.”

“Victor did poorly in his practice?” Yuuri repeated, giving her an alarmed look.

“It wasn’t really that bad,” Mila reassured him, “although he did fall and wobble on his quads.”

“What?”

“Yakov just wasn’t in a good mood in the first place, and he told Victor to leave and go on vacation.”

“Yakov sent him on a vacation?”

“Yuuri!” Yakov shouted, “You have your skates on. Come and practice.”

Yuuri exchanged helpless glances with Mila and the Russian girl gave him a little nudge.

“Better just do what he says.”

“But I need to find Victor!” Yuuri objected.

Faced with limited options, Yuuri huffed out a flustered breath and stepped onto the ice. He started to speak to Yakov, but the old coach ignored him in favor of scolding another skater.

_I guess there’s no way to find out where Victor went unless I go along with him._

Yuuri turned his attention to his training, but all through the session, he tried to find a moment, here of there, when he might be able to convince Victor’s coach to talk to him. Yakov stymied him at every turn, refusing to give an inch until the practice session ended and Yuuri stepped off the ice.

“Be earlier tomorrow,” the old coach scolded him.

“Coach Feltsman, can you please tell me where Victor went?” Yuuri pleaded, “I really need to know, and Victor said that you could tell me.”

“He told you that? Well, why didn’t he tell you himself, if he wanted you to know?” Yakov asked pointedly, “He told me to give you the information if it was an emergency. Do you have an emergency?”

“W-well, yeah!” Yuuri exclaimed, “We had a misunderstanding.”

“That’s not an emergency.”

“But it is!” Yuuri insisted, “Coach Feltsman…”

“Just call me Yakov.”

“Yakov,” Yuuri corrected himself, “I need to talk to Victor.”

“Why don’t you call his phone?”

“He’s not answering his phone!” Yuuri said in an exasperated tone.

“Well, maybe he’s not answering because he doesn’t want to talk to you. Look, if you want my advice, and even if you don’t, I’ll tell you. Just stay here and do your training.”

“But…!”

“Vitya is getting himself together,” Yakov said sternly, “I think that the time he spent in Japan unsettled him and made him lose his focus. If you go up there, then he is going to focus on you and not whatever it is that’s bothering him.”

“But, that’s what I’m trying to tell you!” Yuuri cried, “ _I’m_ what’s bothering him!”

“You think I don’t know that?” Yakov asked sarcastically, “You’ve had that boy’s head in a spin since you grabbed him and kidnapped him to be your coach!”

“But, Victor came to Hasetsu on his own!” Yuuri reminded him, “I didn’t make him do that. He decided to come because he wanted to. You know how impulsive Victor is!”

“Hmph…”

“It’s true!” Yuuri insisted, “I’ve heard you complain about how headstrong he is.”

“You can say that again. But you and Vitya are two of a kind that way,” Yakov said gruffly, “which probably explains why you unsettle each other.”

Yuuri froze for a moment.

“We unsettle each other?” he mused.

“Listen to me,” Yakov advised him, “What Vitya needs right now is to be able to think things through on his own. You going to him would only make it so he can’t hear himself think.”

“That’s not what I’m trying to do at all! The thing is, Victor thinks something that isn’t even true! I…”

“I think the facts are simple,” Yakov said in a firm, but not unkind tone, “You moved into Vitya’s home and then you moved out again. You moved out even though Vitya obviously wanted you to stay.”

“But I felt I had to because…”

“Don’t you understand, the why doesn’t change the fact that you were there and then you weren’t. You told him that _you could not live with him_. How do you think he felt?”

Yuuri let out a defeated breath.

“I think he felt lonely,” he said sadly, “and I think he felt rejected…but Yakov, that’s not what I meant for him to feel.”

“Well, you don’t get to decide what Vitya feels when you walk out on him.”

“I didn’t walk out on him!”

“I don’t know what you call it then, but enough is enough. We’re going in circles here. Go home, Yuuri. Go to the place that you said you needed to live and think about what to do to fix things when Vitya gets back.”

“But, I don’t want Victor to be hurting over something that’s not even true,” Yuuri whimpered.

Yakov’s stern eyes locked on his for a moment.

“Then, next time, you stay with him. You’ll clear up more of your misunderstandings if you stay. Now, go home. We are done for today.”

Yuuri tried to object but Yakov turned his back and walked into his office, slamming the door shut behind him. A heavy breath escaped him and he deflated, lowering his head as he sat down on a bench and changed back into his street shoes. He started to leave, but then felt the brushing of something soft against his hand. He looked down at the old poodle, who looked back at him and panted with his tongue hanging out.

“Come on, Maccachin,” he sighed, “I guess there’s nothing we can do right now.

“Hey,” Mila said bracingly, “try not to be too worried. I know that Victor really likes you. He’s not going to give up on you just like that. Maybe give him a day to think before you run off to find him.”

“But I can’t go to find him if I don’t know where he is,” Yuuri said anxiously, “Mila, do you know where he went?”

“No one told me,” Mila answered sympathetically, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Yuuri replied, shaking his head, “It’s my fault. Yakov’s right. I should have thought more about what Victor was feeling when I told him I was going. I hurt him, and now I don’t know if I’m going to be able to make it up to him.”

“Try not to think about that. Just go home and try to relax and get some sleep. Maybe things will be clearer in the morning and you’ll think of where to look for him then.”

“I really hope so,” Yuuri sighed, a tear sliding down his face, “I’m worried about him. I just want him to be okay.”

“He’s fine,” Mila said reassuringly, “He just went to a hotel somewhere, and he’s probably wanting to make this up as much as you do. Give it until morning and try more tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” Yuuri said in a non-committal tone, “I guess you’re right.”

He left the rink walking slowly with Maccachin looking at him curiously as he walked alongside.


	3. Someone Else's Dream I Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Victor drowns his sorrows with Antosha, Yuuri takes another look at the home that waits for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a couple of readers ask a question I actually expected to receive. They expressed worry about Victor cheating on Yuuri and the two breaking up. I think I can answer that concern without giving too much away. This is a story about Victuuri love. Love is not always perfect, but a love like Victor and Yuuri’s is special. It’s not something that either wants to let go of. They will have disagreements and they will make mistakes, but I don’t see either as likely to cheat or wanting to hurt the other. The guiding light of this story is how different kinds of love manifest. The angst here is not people acting in cruel ways, but human hearts learning how to love each other amidst the confusion that just comes with being human. I promise this story is going to be a good one. I can’t wait to write more and I’ll be sad when I’m finished with it. Some stories just get me like that…Love you, Spunky

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**(Philip Wesley – _Soul’s Lament_ is the song that inspired this part of the story)**

Yuuri surprised himself by leaving the ice rink and walking, not to the apartment he had rented, but to Victor’s house instead. As he walked, everything around him seemed to disappear until all he could see were all of the moments, bright and dark, everything that made up the love that he shared with the Russian legend, Victor Nikiforov.

_I know that I love Victor. I think I’ve been in love with him since the first time I saw him skate. Back then, I never imagined that what I felt would ever mean anything real or lasting. How could I know that I would crash and burn like I did, right in front of him? How could I divine that I would go to the banquet and become anxious and get drunk and dance with Victor…that I would ask him out of the blue like that, to be my coach?_

_And who could know that Victor would be lonely and just wishing that someone would come to him and love him, not because he was a legend, but because he was just Vitya, a dreamy boy who loved to skate and became the highest form of artist in skating? And why would the boy who fell head over heels for Victor have to be an anxious idiot who would make so many mistakes and hurt him?_

Yuuri’s feet stopped as he reached the beginning of the stone walkway that led to the front door of the pretty, tranquil looking cottage home. He paused, admiring the look of it and how it made him think instantly of Victor.

_It looks like a place that he would live._

He glanced down at the old poodle who sat quietly beside him and he patted the pooch on his fuzzy head.

“Come on, let’s go inside.”

The steps he took as he approached were slow and measured.

_Why was I afraid to come to this place? Why was I afraid to walk inside? What was it that made me feel like my heart was going to burst out of my chest? Why was I so scared?_

He reached the front porch and stopped in front of the door.

_There’s nothing so scary about this, is there? This door is warm colored and looks strong. And even though it’s strong, I know it will open for me. I know that when it does, I will be welcome inside. Victor wants me here…just me._

_Why did that seem so terrifying?_

He slipped a hand into his pocket and pulled out the silver key that Victor had given him, then he spent a moment looking down at it and feeling the little weight of the metal, it’s smoothness and hardness…the little grooves that had been cut so that the key would work in this one door. He pushed the key into the keyhole and turned it, and it seemed much easier this time to open the door and walk inside. He paused in the darkened entry, closing the door behind him as Maccachin ran past and looked around for his absent master.

“Sorry boy,” Yuuri apologized, “He’s not here right now.”

_It’s such a beautiful, friendly looking place, but…it does feel kind of lonely, doesn’t it? Victor’s trophies are over here and there is expensive art over there. Everything inside and outside his home has a place. Everything radiates with Victor’s light and gentle personality._

He spotted a little stack of books sitting on a table near where Victor’s couch was set beside it. Yuuri could almost see his absent lover, reclined on the couch and gazing at the pages, a million miles away and so beautiful just doing the most normal of things.

_This isn’t a place to be afraid of. At first, I was afraid I would come here and I would just be swallowed up by him, but…something feels different now._

He looked around the house, walking slowly from front to back, only avoiding the master bedroom. And everywhere he looked, he began to see it.

_Is this why?_

_Is this why Victor is lonely?_

_Or is it a sign that he was lonely and was looking for someone?_

He looked again and couldn’t miss now the fact that there were…spaces in Victor’s home. There were books on the shelves, but there was room for more. The furniture wasn’t just comfortable, it was all oversized and so lush and soft when he sat down on it. He dropped onto the couch and Maccachin jumped up and curled up against him as if to say, _Did it really take you that long to figure it out?_

Yuuri gently scooted out from underneath the old poodle to continue this exploration. The kitchen, too, had space left to be filled. Extra chairs at the table.

_For me?_

_Does he maybe want children? I mean, we can’t have children together, but we have other ways to make a family, if that’s what we want._

Even in the hallway, the carefully spaced pictures on the wall were positioned in a way that suggested Victor expected to be moving them, making room for more. Each bedroom had a comfortable bed and a matching desk and dresser.

_Comforts for his guests right now, but also room for his family to grow?_

Yuuri felt twinges of returning anxiety as he concluded his journey around the still dark house, and he made his way back to the master bedroom doors. Closing his eyes for a moment, he bit at the insides of his lips and worked to slow his breaths.

_This is it, then?_

_Was this what it was that I was fearing the most?_

_I love Victor Nikiforov. I have no doubts about that. The doubts and fears that I have aren’t about whether Victor is the man I love. I have loved Victor from the first moment I saw him skating. It’s like he skated into my heart and where it felt empty and cold before, he filled it with light and warmth and hope, and now I am so scared…of it all going away._

_Yes, it’s not that I’m scared of loving him. I am scared of losing him. That’s why the spaces in Victor’s home at first were frightening. Maybe because I thought that anyone could come to this place and fill them._

_But that’s not true at all, is it?_

_When we arrived here, Victor told me that he hadn’t been in a relationship since buying this house. When I asked him why, he paused and looked so thoughtful, but he couldn’t give me an answer. Still, the truth was right in front of us and it’s so obvious now._

_Victor bought this house to build the future he dreamed of. He left the skater apartments and found this beautiful piece of property and he put all of his things inside, leaving room for the rest of his dreams._

Yuuri swallowed hard, his heart pounding again and tears threatening.

_I am the only one Victor handed a key._

_A key to his heart, to his home, to his dreams._

_What louder profession of love is there? How more clearly could he say that he loves only me and he wants me to be a part of all of this? And it’s not just that he wants me to be a part of his dreams. Victor left space in his home for my dreams and my wishes too._

_I’m such an idiot!_

He took a sharper breath that stung in his chest and he opened the bedroom doors and stepped through, pausing inside. He could see the open door to the master bathroom, a glimpse of the marble counters and huge jetted tub and stylish stone walled shower. But what stood out the most was the bed.

It was left unmade.

Yuuri moved closer, breathing in the little traces of Victor’s pleasant scent as he approached it. The bed was about as big a bed as Yuuri had ever seen and he knew it was as cozy and softly supportive as it looked. The sheets were kept clean and fresh smelling. The covers were weighted to help Victor fall asleep easily and sleep deeply.

But they had been pushed back a little, and there was a space that suggested that Victor had been sitting, maybe with his knees pulled to his chest, as Yuuri often found himself doing when his problems, or sometimes just the world seemed much too big for him.

_Victor gets scared too._

Yuuri moved forward in slow steps, studying the place where Victor had been sitting, and the soft pillows that had supported his back…and the one set off to the side that Yuuri somehow knew must have soaked up some tears.

The thought stole his breath away and he climbed onto the bed and sat in that same place, grabbing the pillow and hugging it to his chest, adding his tears to the ones Victor had left behind. He cried himself to sleep, there, with Maccachin curled up against him, as he must have been so many times for his absent master.

_Humans…_

_…they’re warm…_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**(Robin Spielberg – Variations on Pachelbel’s Canon is the song Antosha will play while Victor dances alone.)**

Victor stood silently in the large, comfortably furnished suite, sipping at a glass of expensive wine, looking out the window and down at the open air skating rink below.

_I want to be out there, but my heart just isn’t in it today. I miss Yuuri. I wonder if leaving and listening to Yakov’s advice to leave my phone off was a good idea. I’m sure he told Yuuri I’m fine. I don’t want Yuuri to worry. I just…_

_I don’t know._

“You like it?” Antosha asked.

Victor turned away from the window and smiled back at his friend.

“I made sure both that one and the indoor rink are fully updated and kept in perfect condition. We get a lot of skaters up here, training stamina…”

He stepped into the room, approaching slowly as Victor turned back to look out the window again.

“…or trying to get away, or mending broken hearts,” Antosha concluded.

Victor’s eyes misted in reaction and he took a swallow of the wine that he had taken from the welcome basket.

“I’m fine,” he lied, “We just had a misunderstanding. I’m sure that we’ll work it out soon.”

Antosha sighed.

“I hope so.”

Victor gave him a skeptical look.

“You do?” he asked, frowning suspiciously.

“Of course I do,” his friend laughed, striding to Victor and hugging him tightly, while being careful not to spill the wine, “because you’re so boring when you’re sad!”

“What?”

“Come on,” Antosha urged him, “Let’s go and do some skating. We can get drunk after. It’s just…it’s been a long time since I saw you skating in person.”

“I don’t really feel like skating.”

“Oh, I know. But we’re going to skate,” his friend insisted, taking the wine glass and setting it on the table, “Come, Vitya!”

The next thing Victor knew, he was being dragged from the room, to the elevator and down as Antosha chattered happily, taking up most of the conversation because he was well aware Victor wasn’t going to.

_He’s being kind because he knows how it feels. Antosha is like that. He is a kind person, even when he is the one breaking your heart._

They reached the outdoor rink and Victor gave the blonde man a flustered look.

“I’ve forgotten my skates.”

Antosha grinned and brought them out from where he’d been hiding them behind his back.

“I didn’t. Put them on.”

Victor sat down on the bench beside the rink entrance and pulled his street shoes off.

_The skates feel kind of heavy._

He tied them in place, his mind traveling back in time again.

_Victor knew this time that Antosha was watching and that it might be the only time it would happen. He slipped a hand into his pocket and touched the button to start the music he had prepared. He moved to center ice and took up a position with one hand on his heart and the other extended towards the older man._

_Antosha was smiling._

_Victor moved then, pouring his love into every shift, every swish of his arms, every turn of his head, every perfect jump and sweeping turn. It was a dance on the ice, but it was also the very beating of his heart, offering itself to a man both knew was too old and experienced for him._

_Yes, it was hopeless from the start, him being just sixteen and having his first major crush, but, Victor remembered, just because it was doomed from the start, didn’t mean it wasn’t real, or even that it wasn’t meant to be. Young people fall in love with their mentors, he reminded himself. It’s part of growing up._

_And as much as it hurt to be rejected by him, Antosha was doing the right thing by not getting involved with me._

“What are you thinking?” Antosha asked quietly, bringing Victor out of his thoughts

Victor shook his head dismissively.

“Just what a stupid kid I was,” he sighed, “What a stupid adult I am.”

Antosha took his hand and pulled him to his feet.

“Stop it and come skate with me.”

They stepped onto the ice together and took up a dance position, skating to soft music that played on the loudspeaker.

“So, tell me what this Japanese boy did to you to make you come running up here,” Antosha urged him, “What turned you into the mess I see in front of me?”

“Yuuri?” Victor mused, his eyes misting again, “Oh, it wasn’t Yuuri’s fault. I know he suffers from anxiety and when he gets scared, Yuuri runs away. It’s just…we’re engaged.”

“I heard that,” Antosha acknowledged, tightening his arm that was around Victor’s waist, “I saw the skating you did in the exhibition after the Grand Prix Final. It looked like you two were perfect for each other.”

“Hmm, I don’t know if there is such a thing,” Victor sighed, leaning back on the arm that supported him as the two went into a pretty turn and released each other to spin for a moment before returning, “People are complicated. Yuuri has his anxiety and I have…this ability to make people love me on the surface, but never all of me. Maybe there are things about me that no one can love.”

“I don’t think that’s true at all,” Antosha insisted, “Do you think maybe he just needs some time?”

Victor shrugged.

“That’s why I’m here, I guess.”

Antosha nodded.

“Well then, I consider it my duty as designated friend to make you distracted so you don’t feel all sad and depressed!”

“No, Antosha…”

“Come with me,” the blonde man urged him, pulling on his hand, “I have just the thing for you.”

“What?”

They left the ice and changed back into their street shoes, heading back into the lodge as the woman who had photographed Victor’s arrival ran through the additional shots on her phone.

Inside the lodge, Antosha turned to Victor and took his hands, smiling at him.

“How would you like to do a huge favor for your old friend?” he asked.

“What kind of favor?” Victor asked, tilting his head and narrowing his eyes.

“The kind that only the beautiful and charming _Victor_ can do for a simple country innkeeper like me.”

“What?” Victor chuckled, “You want me to rent out that penthouse indefinitely or something?”

“That’s a great idea, but no,” Antosha laughed, “If it’s okay with you and your legal people, can you let me take some pictures of you here to use to promote my lodge? I’ll pay for the privilege, of course…”

“What are you talking about?” Victor chided him, “I don’t need any money. If you want publicity, it’s probably the one useful thing I _can_ do.”

“I’m sure that’s not true, but…”

Victor listened as his friend laid out his plan, and it did feel better going to Antosha’s room and trying on different clothes, laughing as they put together outfits, then laughing harder as they began to indulge in wine together, while a staff member took photos in the lobby, on the inside and outside rinks and in a borrowed boat on the inn’s crystalline blue lake.

Neither noticed the woman who remained quietly in the background, shooting photos of the two on her cell phone and typing quick messages as she sent them away.

It wasn’t until after dinner, when Antosha led him to an empty banquet room that was being prepared for a party. His friend sat down at the baby grand piano and began to play, while Victor removed the outer layers of his clothing, so he wore just a thin cotton long sleeve shirt and his training slacks with socks, but no shoes. He took up a ready position on the dance floor in front of the piano, then began to dance, unscripted, as Antosha played and watched.

 _There never has been a more beautiful dancer,_ Antosha mused silently, _and you only become more beautiful with age, Vitya. Yuuri Katsuki is both a fool and the luckiest fool in the world to have won your heart. Try not to worry. I’ve seen the two of you together and I think that, whatever this is will pass and you will be happy again._

_Still…if you are not…_

He left the thought drifting as Victor’s slender body turned and swayed in perfect time to the tinkling music. His ocean blue eyes finally lost their sadness as he sank into the sweetness of the parade of love songs his friend played.

_You are not the artist, Vitya, you have become the art, enchanting everyone who sees you. Slow down and realize exactly what you have. Hang on to it, because love is what is most precious. And your love is the most precious of all._

In a far corner of the room, a member of the inn staff entered through one of the doors, carrying a box of decorations, He startled as he almost bumped into a woman who stood at the edge of the room, beside a decorative tree.

“Oh, I’m sorry ma’am,” he apologized, “but you’re not supposed to be in here. We’re preparing the room for a party.”

“I know,” the woman chuckled, “I booked the party. Sorry, I just wanted a photo of the room being prepared. I’ll go.”

She slipped away before he could answer.

Across the room, Antosha noticed the weariness that had come into Victor’s expression. He brought the tune he was playing to a close and the two finished the last of their wine before heading upstairs.

“You’re starting to look sad again,” Antosha sighed, “Will you be all right?”

“I’ll be okay,” Victor assured him, “I just need to rest and think a little.”

“You know where to find me if you need anything.”

“Yes, thank you.”

Antosha turned towards the elevator, but he stopped again as Victor’s voice sounded behind him.

“On second thought, do you think you can stay until I fall asleep?”

The blonde man smiled warmly.

“It’s no problem.”

“I know it’s above and beyond the call of friendship, and I swear, I’m not looking to cheat on Yuuri…not that it would be cheating, since he left me.”

The two sat down and Victor poured another glass of wine for each of them, and drained his quickly.

“You’re going to throw up if you don’t stop.”

“I think I went too far already,” Victor groaned, holding his midsection.

He leaned against his friend, breathing slowly through the discomfort. As Antosha watched over him, he didn’t throw up, but he did sink down so that his head was in his friend’s lap, and he drifted off to sleep almost instantly. As he slept, a few tears escaped the corners of his eyes and leaked onto his face.

“Ah, sweet, reckless Vitya,” Antosha sighed, reaching down to brush away a tear from one porcelain cheek, “do you know? This is why I couldn’t let myself fall in love with you. I could never hold a heart like yours without breaking it. Even now, it hurts me to see it breaking. I don’t have to ask you if this boy is worth the breaking. The way you are right now tells me everything.”


	4. Price of Celebrity

Victor woke the next morning to a splitting ache in his head and as he reached a hand up to cover his stinging eyes to keep out the burning light, his stomach pitched warningly, bringing him instantly to his feet and stumbling towards the suite’s bathroom.

_It’s been awhile since I was so miserably drunk I’d have a hangover._

_If that’s not enough, I just want to get drunk again right away so I don’t have to think about how fucking depressed I feel._

He was surprised to hear someone moving with him and his breath caught when an arm wrapped around him to steady him.

“Y-Yuuri?” he groaned hopefully.

“Sorry, it’s just me,” Antosha chuckled gamely as he helped Victor to the bathroom and prepared a cool, damp towel while Victor dropped onto his knees, retching.

“Ugh…”

“Yeah,” his friend sighed sympathetically, “Been there, done that.”

“Hmm, I’m drunk a lot,” Victor panted, “but not usually hung over. God, why did I have to get drunk on wine? I h-hate when it comes back up.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Victor took the damp cloth and wiped it over his pale face, then he leaned against the wall, catching his breath.

“Tell me I didn’t keep you up all night last night, crying on your shoulder.”

Antosha laughed sadly.

“I could tell you that, but it would be a lie, and you know we always tell the truth to each other.”

“We do,” Victor agreed, leaning forward to throw up again.

Antosha took the cloth and rinsed it, then handed it back to him.

“You’re a mess, Vitya.”

“L-like I need you to tell me that.”

Antosha’s worried frown deepened.

“You think you’ll be okay if I run out for a few minutes?” he asked.

“Mmhmm,” Victor managed, groaning and holding onto his stomach, “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be in here for awhile. I think I’ll want a bath after this.”

“Good call,” his friend snickered, “There’s some shower gel that’s good for making bubbles if you want a bubble bath.”

“Oh, that sounds really good right now,” Victor sighed, leaning against the wall again and running the damp washcloth over his face.

Antosha gave his sick friend a sympathetic smile and stopped to start the water flowing into the tub before leaving. Victor groaned and dragged himself to the tub, where he shed his clothing and climbed in, then added a measure of shower gel to the flowing water.

“Ugh,” he grunted, laying the washcloth over his face, “If I ever drink again, I am never letting myself get sober.”

But as horrid as he felt, the hot water and sweet smelling bubbles did seem to help, and when the tub was filled, the softly vibrating jets he turned on felt comforting. Victor gave a ragged sigh and sank deeper into the water, grateful that the pain in his belly had relented and the throbbing in his head had eased somewhat. He heard his friend’s returning footsteps and sat up a bit, reaching up to remove the washcloth from over his face. His head tilted at the sight of the off greenish cast of the drink Antosha carried and he cringed away as his friend offered it to him.

“Oh, god no…I can’t,” he groaned, going a shade paler, “I’ll throw up in your tub.”

“Come here,” Antosha giggled, tugging on a slippery arm as Victor leaned away, whimpering.

“N-no…!”

“I don’t know how Yuuri puts up with you,” his friend chided him, “You’re so stubb-…”

He broke off mid-sentence and apologized hastily.

“Ah! S-sorry, Vitya.”

“Why are you apologizing?” Victor asked, his expression clouding with guilt, “I’m impossible. Everyone says so…my parents did, Yakov, Yuuri…every damned person I ever dated.”

“Here, drink this,” Anton said in a gentler tone, “I don’t think it can make you feel worse than you already do.”

“You have that right,” Victor said defeatedly, accepting the glass and taking a skeptical look before sucking in a breath and swallowing quickly while holding his breath.

He let it out in a hiss as he finished and made a discomfited face as he handed the glass back to his elder friend.

“Th-that was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be,” Victor chuckled weakly, "but that’s not saying too much.”

“It tastes bad, but trust me, you’ll feel better quickly. Now, why don’t you watch a little bit of TV while you bathe? I had these screens installed in the bathroom to help with relaxation. You can watch TV or listen to music. Which would you like?”

“Hmm, the TV,” Victor sighed, sinking down into the bubbles and water again.

Antosha tapped several buttons on the remote and the television came on.

“Just the news is fine.”

Antosha put the station on and rose, heading for the bathroom door. He stiffened and turned back a moment later as a laughing female voice sounded.

“ _This is Sarafina Aliev, with your latest celebrity news. I’m sure you all remember from some years back, the scandal that rocked the men’s figure skating world.”_

Victor’s eyes rounded and a look of agony erupted on his face as side-by-side pictures were shown of a sixteen-year-old Victor and Antosha at twenty-six.

“Why…?” he managed breathlessly, “Why would they dredge this up now?”

_“It was a classic case of did he or didn’t he, that triggered a massive investigation of student and mentor relations on the Russian skating team, and resulted in several arrests.”_

Antosha’s face flashed a look of disgust and Victor bristled.

“They don’t say that you were completely fucking _exhonorated_!” Victor spat.

_“Victor may no longer be underage, but does he perhaps still carry a torch for the man who lit up his performances all of those years ago? These photos of Victor and Anton Karlovsky frolicking at an exclusive lodge in the mountains, while his professed love, Yuuri Katsuki, trains in Saint Petersburg, suggest that too much is never enough for the unrepentant playboy, Nikiforov.”_

Antosha clicked the TV off and his troubled eyes found Victor’s.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, “I didn’t have any idea anyone from the media was here or that our photo taking would attract that kind of attention.”

“It’s not your fault,” Victor said numbly, “just like it wasn’t your fault before. I was depressed and not paying attention and I let down my guard…just like before.”

“Vitya,” Antosha said worriedly, “it wasn’t your fault before either. You didn’t do anything…”

“I didn’t do anything _wrong_?” Victor asked in a raw, choked whisper.

“You were just a kid before,” Antosha insisted, “and this time, what we were doing was _my responsibility_. I asked you to do the pictures to advertise the lodge.”

“But after what happened before, I swore up and down that I would never, ever let something like that happen again,” Victor said, climbing out of the tub and grabbing a towel, “Antosha, Yuuri is going to see this and…and…”

Victor paused and his expression went from hurt to tortured.

“If there was any hope of him moving back in with me…it’s over.”

“Hey,” Antosha said, laying a hand on Victor’s naked arm, “you don’t know that. If you call him, talk to him, tell him what happened…”

Fresh tears filled Victor’s eyes and he sat down on a chair near the sink.

“Yuuri and I haven’t even spoken since before I left,” he sighed anxiously, "but maybe you’re right.”

He got up and left the bathroom with Antosha following. He quickly located his phone then let out an exasperated breath and dropped it onto the nightstand.

“The battery is dead.”

“You can use mine.”

Victor gave him a meaningful look.

“Oh, right,” Antosha said, nodding, “The landline?”

Victor swallowed hard and took a moment to plug in the phone, then he headed for the bedroom in the suite.

“What are you doing?” Antosha asked, frowning.

“I need to think,” Victor said, shaking his head, “and I need a drink before I do this.”

“No,” his friend said bracingly, “Vitya, you don’t want to get drunk again.”

“Oh, yes, I do,” Victor insisted.

He paused, rethinking and met Antosha’s eyes again.

“Maybe I need to skate.”

“That’s a better idea.”

“But…a drink first.”

“Vitya, no.”

“Definitely, yes.”

XXXXXXXXXX

Despite his penchant for sleeping late, Yuuri woke well before he normally would have, but he laid for a few minutes in Victor’s bed, hugging a still drowsy Maccachin and comforting himself with the little bits of Victor’s pleasant scent that remained in the fibers of the skating legend’s soft pillow and lush bedding. He closed his eyes, recalling how it felt to lie in that bed with his beautiful fiancé so close to him.

_Of course it flustered me that he wouldn’t wear any clothes to bed. In fact, Victor sheds his clothing at every opportunity. I guess that’s easy for him, since he has a body that naturally makes people want to look at him. But if just being near him when he’s fully dressed flusters me already, then adding his nudity to things is like walking out into bright light. It’s like being in the ice rink for hours, then walking out into the summer heat. There’s a moment of shock and feeling hot all over. I break out in a sweat and I feel like I’m in a panic attack. It takes a moment for me to realize it’s just the way he strikes me. It’s like when two chemicals initially have an intense reaction, there’s a moment of wondering if it’s something to be afraid of, or if we’ve discovered something wonderful._

_When I arrived with Victor and stepped into this house, still thinking of it as Victor’s home that I would be sharing, the light, the heat, the intensity of the initial reaction all hit me at once, and I panicked. I tried to push my way through it, but it wasn’t something I should have tried to do on my own._

_Yeah._

_The truth is, I should have shared my worries, my fears and my concerns with Victor. He’s done nothing but try to love and understand me from the beginning. He does pull me out of my comfort zone, but he never leaves me alone while I’m adjusting. Victor is always there for me, encouraging me and urging me to keep going. This is why I was able to overcome my failures and become the skater I am today. Through all of this, the only thing Victor has asked of me is for me to stay close to him. I thought that it was because he thought I needed him to keep moving forward._

_But, that’s not it._

_Victor wanted me to stay for his own reasons too. Victor may have been at the top of the skating world for the last eleven years, but as he broke through and fought his way to the top, he realized that there were less and less people who he felt close to. I think as the number of challengers who could reach him declined and it became easier and easier to stay on that pinnacle, Victor began to feel lonely, bored and frustrated. Everyone needs to feel like they’re growing. Yurio was right to tell me that Victor needed to be able to surprise people to keep growing and moving forward. Once the growth stops, a person begins to die._

_I’ve been so afraid of adding the weight of coaching me to Victor’s challenges that I forgot how important new challenges are to his growth. Yes, Victor is aging, and whether he coaches me or not, he will eventually retire. Still, even though he can’t be a skater forever, he can become a coach and choreographer. It’ll be hard for him these last years of his skating career to do both, but even though it’ll be hard, he needs the challenge to motivate him. There’s a balance I didn’t see before._

_When I came to Victor’s home and stepped inside, I was so busy reacting and feeling overwhelmed that I failed to see the imbalance that was making Victor feel sad…lonely and separated from even the people who loved him. I was afraid to touch or change anything before, because I thought of Victor like he was a god. Victor is a person, and like all people, Victor needs balance in his life. This home, this place he wanted to share with me was screaming this at me, but until I slowed down, until I stopped being afraid and really looked, I couldn’t see how unbalanced it was…and how much this home and Victor needed me to gain that balance._

A smile rose on Yuuri’s lips as he looked around the master bedroom and he slipped out of the bed and walked slowly through the house, feeling the difference that a few changes had made. He was still tired from all of the work he had put into his effort, but he couldn’t help but be happy at the results.

“But there’s something missing,” he said softly, looking down at Maccachin and patting the old poodle on the head, “Maybe you and I will do something about that after practice.”

He dressed and left the house, jogging along the sidewalk with Maccachin tagging along. As he made his way over the street bridge, a little shout brought him to a stop. He turned and smiled as Yurio joined him.

“Hey Yurio,” he greeted the blonde Russian skater.

“Huh, why are you looking so happy?” Yurio chided him, “Victor’s still gone, right?”

“Oh…well, yeah, he is,” Yuuri said, his smile fading.

“Are you gonna go and bring him back?” Yurio asked as the two continued walking towards the ice rink.

Yuuri reached up to scratch the back of his neck.

“Uh, I guess maybe?” he answered uncertainly, “Although I don’t know, because isn’t he just coming back tomorrow? Yakov said he’d be back after the weekend.”

Yurio let out a disgusted breath.

“Idiot!” he snapped, “You know how depressed you made that old geezer with your stupid decision to leave him!”

“I didn’t _leave_ Victor!” Yuuri argued.

“That’s not what Victor told all of us,” Yurio countered, as they reached the rink and walked inside.

“I just moved out of Victor’s house!” Yuuri explained, “I didn’t move out of his life!”

“Well, maybe you should have made that more obvious to Victor before running away. Then, Victor wouldn’t have come here in a funk, and Yakov wouldn’t have sent him away on vacation to cry his eyes out over you, you stupid piggy!”

The angry words sent a jolt through Yuuri, and he reeled for a moment.

“What the hell’s wrong with you?” Yurio complained, “I don’t know what Victor sees in you. YOU ARE PATHETIC!”

Yurio sucked in a surprised breath as Yuuri suddenly deflated.

“What’s wrong now?” he demanded.

“You’re right,” Yuuri confessed in a soft, sad voice, “I was pathetic. I panicked and I carelessly let Victor think I was leaving him.

He gave a surprised yelp as Yurio shoved him and he started to trip over a bench. Seemingly out of nowhere, Otabek Altin appeared and caught the Japanese skater as he fell.

“Beka!” Yurio exclaimed.

“Thanks,” Yuuri said gratefully as the Kazakhstani skater set him back on his feet.

“If the two of you are done arguing, then you should have a look at the news.”

He indicated one of the rinkside screens, where several pictures of a smiling Victor and an equally happy looking Anton Karlovsky were being broadcast.

“ _This is Sarafina Aliev, with your latest celebrity news. I’m sure you all remember from some years back, the scandal that rocked the men’s figure skating world_. _It was a classic case of did he or didn’t he, that triggered a massive investigation of student and mentor relations on the Russian skating team, and resulted in several arrests. Victor may no longer be underage, but does he perhaps still carry a torch for the man who lit up his performances all of those years ago? These photos of Victor and Anton Karlovsky frolicking at an exclusive lodge in the mountains, while his professed love, Yuuri Katsuki, trains in Saint Petersburg, suggest that too much is never enough for the unrepentant playboy, Nikiforov.”_

“Shit,” Yurio hissed.

As he and Otabek watched, Yuuri’s brown eyes narrowed and filled with new determination.

“I need to go,” he said in a low, aggressive tone.

Yurio snickered and nodded.

“Beka will drive us.”

“Who said we were going?” Otabek asked, shaking his head.

“Come on!” Yurio snapped, grabbing his boyfriend’s hand and dragging him along.

As the three ran towards the rink entrance, Yakov stepped out of the office and shouted after them.

“Where the hell are you three going? Get back here!”

XXXXXXXXXX

(Three hours later)

Victor skated in slow figures, surprising Antosha with his ability to move so flawlessly, despite his intoxicated state. The innkeeper studied the area around the outdoor rink carefully before speaking to his depressed and anxious friend.

“Vitya, I’m sure your phone is charged by now,” he commented, “Maybe you should try to call Yuuri.”

Victor stopped skating and stood still as his old mentor approached him. Antosha read the still tormented look on his face and sighed sympathetically.

“You probably want to prepare him for what’s going to be on the news.”

“I do want to go and talk to Yuuri,” Victor answered quietly, “but I need to apologize to you.”

Antosha smiled and placed a hand on his arm, leaning towards him.

“You don’t have to apologize.”

“But, I do,” Victor insisted, tears returning to the corners of his eyes, “I need to tell you again, how sorry I am for all of the pain I caused you back then…and also for last night.”

“Don’t worry about before,” his friend urged him, “and Vitya, don’t worry about last night.”

He started to say more, but was stopped as Yuuri’s low, angry voice sounded behind them.

“What happened last night, Victor?”


	5. Spaces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I promised major fluff this chapter, but, as often happens in writing, something else important developed instead. There will be a huge payoff next chapter and the only tears to be shed will be happy ones, I promise! I do need to note that this chapter mentions underage sex, although there is no graphic description of it. I just want to be sure that it’s tagged so that if any readers are upset by the mention of it, you can skip over that part. The reason this became a part of this chapter is because, as I was writing Victor’s recollection of his experience with young love, I came across a story of a skater that echoed a continuing problem that occurs in youth competitive sports, one that is often covered up and not dealt with and one that continues to be a heartbreaking reality for many young athletes. Oftentimes, as with Victor, in this case, the victim doesn’t fully comprehend that what has happened is bad or wrong. It’s not until they reach full maturity that they realize how they were betrayed, not just by a trusted adult, but by a system that puts image and profit ahead of the safety and well-being of its athletes. As a writer and as a parent, this is my way of acknowledging their pain.

_What happened last night, Victor?_

Victor froze for a moment, gazing at his angry fiancé.

_That look is so scary…yes, furious…but also so very passionate, so very Eros! I’m terrified of what he will do. This could close the door between us for good, but all I can think is how damned beautiful Yuuri is and how I can’t ever be sorry for loving him._

_No matter what happens._

A few steps behind Yuuri, Yurio started to say something, but Otabek’s arm wrapped around him, stopping him.

_Let them handle it._

Reading Victor’s stunned expression, Antosha turned to face Yuuri, unsmiling, but not unfriendly either.

“I’ve been hearing a lot about you, Yuuri Katsuki,” he said quietly.

Yuuri’s dark brown eyes flickered.

“I could say the same…Anton?”

“Yes,” the older man affirmed.

Yuuri turned his attention back to his silent fiancé.

“Victor?”

_He had started to call me Vitya, but when he’s angry, he uses Victor with that pissed tone._

As horrible a moment as it was, Victor couldn’t seem to move forward and remained still as a stone. Antosha realized that his hand was still on Victor’s arm and he let it drop.

“You don’t need to worry,” he said solemnly, “Victor hasn’t done anything wrong. You know how media can blow everything out of proportion.”

“Yeah, I do,” Yuuri agreed, his voice still filled with the tension, “but I didn’t ask you. I asked _Victor_ to tell me what happened last night.”

Otabek cleared his throat softly.

“Maybe we should go inside,” he suggested.

“Yeah, you never know who’s lurking around, waiting to screw everything up for you,” Yurio added, looking around.

“Fine,” Yuuri said, “we’ll go inside.”

Antosha took a breath and gave Yurio and Otabek a little nod of greeting.

“If you like, why don’t you let me give you a tour around the inn,” he suggested.

Yurio started to argue, but Otabek was faster.

“That sounds like a good idea,” he said, taking Yurio’s hand.

Victor and Yuuri remained quiet as Antosha removed his skates, then led Yurio and Otabek into the inn. When they were alone, Yuuri let out a ragged sigh.

“Maybe we should go to your room,” he suggested, “I think we’ve given the press enough to talk about, haven’t we?”

Victor nodded wordlessly and left the ice to change back into his street shoes. Yuuri remained standing, watching him.

_His hands are shaking. His expression looks like he expects me to start yelling at him as soon as we’re in a private place._

_I feel shaky too._

Victor finished putting on his shoes and started to stand, but he swayed a little, prompting Yuuri to put out a hand to steady him. As he did, he caught the unmistakable scent of alcohol.

“You’re drunk?” he sighed.

“Very.”

Yuuri bit back a smile as Victor took a step and swayed slightly. He placed an arm around his inebriated partner and they started back inside.

“You can skate perfectly even though you’re too drunk to walk ten feet,” he mused, “Why does that not surprise me?”

“I’ve had lots of practice.”

“I’m sure you have.”

They boarded the elevator and Victor leaned against the wall, closing his eyes at the motion as the elevator started upward. Neither man spoke, but Victor felt a twinge of cynical amusement at seeing the words ‘Maximum Load’ on the wall of the elevator when he opened his eyes again.

_Are we talking emotional load, because that just feels so heavy right now._

_I only wish I could laugh about the sexual connotations, but it’s hard to find the humor in anything when your life is falling apart._

They reached the top floor and Victor led Yuuri to a door at the end of the hall. The two entered the suite and Victor closed the door and leaned his back against it, his hazy blue green eyes focusing on his waiting partner.

“Sorry,” Victor apologized, “it wasn’t cleaned because I left the do not disturb on this morning so that I could…”

Yuuri looked back at him silently.

“…rest…throw up…take a bath…worry.”

Yuuri took a little breath and broke his silence.

“Why were you worried? You saw the news and worried about how I would react?”

“Yes.”

Yuuri turned and walked through the open door into the bedroom, where he paused and looked at the unmade bed. One side looked slept in, while the other looked as though someone had sat on top of the covers, their back propped against several pillows.

“You…asked me what happened last night?” Victor inquired, moving to stand a step behind him, “I’ll start before that. Yakov saw that I wasn’t able to concentrate in practice, so he took me into his office and yelled at me and told me to get the hell out until I was able to be serious. He called this inn because our team trains stamina here. Yakov didn’t know that Antosha had bought the place. I didn’t know he’d be here.”

“Okay,” Yuuri said, moving to the bed and sitting down on the side Victor had slept on and motioning for his hesitant partner to join him.

Victor sucked in a shaky breath and sat down.

“You probably know what happened years ago, when I was sixteen and…”

“Yeah, it was all over the news.”

Victor’s jaw tightened and he nodded stiffly.

“Of course, what was on the news wasn’t half of what really happened. You know that?”

“I guess.”

Victor sighed.

“I was just being a stupid kid,” he confessed softly, his voice dropping to barely above a whisper, “Antosha was a skater in the men’s singles division and Yakov had asked him to mentor me in choreography, since I was wanting to learn to do my own. _Nothing happened_ in our sessions except I flustered him a little while he was instructing me. It was my first real crush and it was completely inappropriate, but…Antosha ignored what he could, and when he couldn’t ignore it, he told me to stop. I did. I was humiliated, of course, but the humiliation only got a hundred times worse when a woman spotted me in the park, crying and she asked me if there was anything she could do. I shouldn’t have said anything, but I was young, and I was dumb and I was heartbroken. I confided in her, though I didn’t use any names…and when she asked me if I knew of coaches or mentors who did step out of those lines, I made the worst mistake of my life.”

Yuuri’s eyes softened with sympathy.

“She was a reporter,” he surmised.

Victor nodded and a tear slid out of one proud, sad eye.

“I told this person that those kinds of things happen all of the time in junior skating.”

“Yeah…I remember. And even though nothing like that ever happened to me. I did know skaters who it happened to.”

Victor’s closed his eyes and shook his head in frustration.

“I was sixteen and trying to rationalize why I was feeling something that, in retrospect, I know lots of sixteen-year-olds experience. Lots of teens have crushes on their mentors. And…Antosha told me, it’s up to the adults to _be adults_ and do the right thing…which is what he did. He…did the right thing, Yuuri, but because of that comment, the police came, and they took all of us juniors in to be questioned about our coaches. Antosha’s name was dragged through the mud, even though not one person even accused him of being inappropriate with anyone. He was cleared, but a few people were investigated and eventually arrested. Antosha was _cleared,_ but the damage to his reputation was done…because of that one comment I made that put him in the spotlight.”

Yuuri loosed a ragged sigh and leaned against Victor’s shoulder and Victor’s head turned so he could rest his chin on the top of his fiancé’s head.

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” Victor sighed, “The next season came and Antosha decided to retire. He said that the scandal wasn’t the reason, but…I don’t know. And the worst thing in all of it was that I would never have said what I did, Yuuri, but…”

Victor paused and Yuuri felt a shiver go through him.

“There is something that I’ve only ever said to the counselor who interviewed me during the investigation and to Antosha, when I apologized to him for everything. What I told them was the reason that those words came out of me.”

Yuuri gave him a guarded look and he stiffened slightly as Victor’s graceful fingers laced together with his.

“To me? I was just telling what was my experience. No one knew, but the truth is, I only thought that because I lost my virginity to a mentor who was twice my age…and not only that, I wasn’t the only one who it happened to. It was the truth I knew…but no one wanted to hear that. If you know that the problem exists in many countries’ skating federations, then you also know that it is usually dealt with in the same sort of way. In my case, the skating federation got a few people arrested, but not the ones who had the most respected names in the business. Antosha was innocent, but because the person who took my innocence was a very respected mentor, they chose to pursue Antosha instead and the _counselor_ who was assigned to me and paid by the federation, warned me that since there was obviously no way to prove what I was saying, I should not repeat it to anyone.”

“Oh my god…” Yuuri whispered, paling, “Victor, that’s horrible!”

He paused for a moment, reeling inwardly, but he pushed the feeling away and focused steadily on his somber partner.

“The person who did this to you…did they hurt you?” he asked.

He thought about the question and shivered, shaking his head firmly.

“I mean, I know it did hurt you…”

“I know what you mean, Yuuri,” Victor assured him, “and I’m grateful that you worry for me, but…to my sixteen-year-old self, what happened seemed just a seduction or a rite of passage into adulthood. I wasn’t able to comprehend it as anything else. I wasn’t forced into anything and I wasn’t physically injured, but I was very, very confused and I didn’t really think what happened was _wrong_ until the situation with Antosha opened my eyes. Only then did I see how many young skaters are misled by older, trusted mentors. The fact that our sport requires many hours of training in an environment that gives adults easy access to us, and that no one really attends to how we are supervised, except as it affects our performance, set me and many others up for what happened to us. We were taken advantage of by adults who we trusted, and then we were pressured by the skating federation not to say anything.”

“My god,” Yuuri whispered, his hand trembling where it held onto Victor’s, “I mean, I knew this kind of thing happened, but I had no idea it was like that for you. I’m really, really sorry.”

“I didn’t want to lose my place in skating,” Victor went on, “so I didn’t say any more at all. Antosha was investigated thoroughly and cleared. He left skating, but he asked Yakov to protect me. I could have been taken off the team or had other consequences, but he helped to quiet things down and he had me move in with Lilia for awhile. I don’t know what Antosha did after that. I never saw him or heard from him until I came here.”

Victor lifted his chin off of Yuuri’s head and met his eyes directly.

“Nothing happened between us here either, Yuuri,” he said solemnly, “Not yesterday and not last night. Antosha tried to cheer me up by asking me to help him make some pictures to advertise the inn, then we got drunk and he just…watched over me, because he was worried about me being alone in that condition. He just…took care of me, nothing more.”

“I know.”

Victor gave him a curious look.

“You do?”

“Yeah.”

“But you looked so angry before, and you did ask what happened. You must have had some doubt when you arrived.”

“I did,” Yuuri admitted, “but I don’t see anything here that suggests more happened, and…I trust you if you say that nothing happened.”

He leaned back slightly and Victor felt a little warning quiver go through his body as Yuuri’s eyes narrowed and he took on a more aggressive expression again.

“But,” he continued, “the next time you are depressed, even if it’s over something that happened between us, the only person who will take care of you…is _me_.”

He moved his face tantalizingly close to Victor’s and Victor breathed in his scent and nodded, swaying very slightly. He swallowed hard, his heart fluttering as Yuuri’s eyes entrapped his.

“You look like you need some taking care of now, so maybe we should just save any more discussion about this for tomorrow, when we go home.”

Victor let out a still worried breath and his frown deepened.

“Will you just tell me if you are still not going to live with me? Are you going to…”

“Stop it,” Yuuri chided him, “I’m not leaving you…and…I’ll live with you, okay? Now, will you let me take care of you? Lie down and I’ll make you some of Mom’s recovery tea.”

“Oh my god,” Victor giggled, slipping his shoes off and lying down obediently, “You don’t know how much I wish you’d been here yesterday, so I wouldn’t have thrown up so much this morning! And why didn’t you tell me that you knew how to make Mama Katsuki’s recovery tea?”

Yuuri’s dark eyes narrowed and he scowled.

“Maybe because I knew _someone_ would use it as an excuse to get drunk even more often than he already does. Seriously, Vitya…”

Yuuri’s breath caught at the surprised look and sudden blush that ran over Victor’s face, then the drunk Russian broke into a wide, crooked smile.

“Yuu-rrrrri!” he purred delightedly, pushing his slighter partner onto his back and attacking his frowning mouth with kisses as Yuuri pushed against his chest, trying to object.

“ _Baka_! I’m supposed to be making you the recovery tea so that you won’t get sick when you sober up. Mmmmph! V-Vitya, what are you doing?”

“I’m eating you alive, my delicious katsudon!” Victor giggled drunkenly and kissing him several more times before Yuuri extracted himself and Victor collapsed on the bed, still laughing.

“Y-you’re…”

Yuuri broke off, his brown eyes softening as Victor snickered and wound himself around a pillow.

“Hurry back, Yuuri,” he sighed, “I want to hug you more.”

“Tea first and then hugging,” Yuuri chided him, shaking his head, “Seriously, Vitya, you need to stop drinking so much just because you’re depressed.”

Yuuri sucked in a surprised breath as Victor’s head tilted and his eyes seemed to clear for a moment.

“It seems like we each have our own way of escaping, don’t we?” he observed, “You run away with your body and I drink so I feel numb and I can run away in my mind.”

“But,” Yuuri said with an edge of sadness, “we are both running away, _ne_ Vitya?”

Victor looked up at him and smiled.

“We were,” he agreed, “but…if Yuuri promises not to run away from me again, I think that I can promise I won’t get drunk when I’m depressed anymore.”

“Yeah, right,” Yuuri snickered sarcastically, “You know you can’t keep up your end of that promise.”

“Sure I can,” Victor insisted, smirking up at him, “I didn’t say I wouldn’t get drunk for other reasons…just, instead of getting drunk because I’m depressed, I will come to you, because I know you’ll be there.”

Yuuri flinched visibly and felt a burning in the corners of his eyes.

“Yeah,” he promised, “I’ll be there.”

Victor hugged the pillow he was wrapped around more tightly and nodded. Yuuri gave him a little, encouraging smile.

“Let me go and get you that tea.”

Yuuri was quiet as he searched through the pack he had brought with him and found the necessary ingredients.

_It was Mom’s idea, once she met Victor and he became my coach, that I should keep some ingredients on hand at all times. She laughed and said that even though the reasons for their drunkenness was different, Victor and Dad are alike in not having much restraint when it comes to liquor. With Dad, he just gets excited and he’s having too much fun, so he forgets and drinks too much. Victor seems to drink a lot and he drinks often, but…I’ve been noticing that since we’ve kissed and started to grow closer, he’s been drinking less and touching and kissing me more._

_Maybe a lot of the reason that Victor leans so much on alcohol is that he feels lonely a lot. That feeling goes away when he’s with me and we’re skating or going out or even just spending time together at home. Victor still sometimes drinks at those times, but he doesn’t get drunk like this._

_It’s making me think of those spaces Victor left in his home for me. When I wasn’t filling them, he filled the spaces with something to make him numb so that he wouldn’t feel so lonely. I wonder what Victor will think when we go home tomorrow and he sees how I’ve changed things._

He took his time making the tea, and half expected that Victor would have fallen asleep before he returned to the bedroom, but when he entered the room with the tea, he found his fiancé sitting quietly in the bed, humming softly to himself and looking out the window. His head turned and he watched quietly as Yuuri approached, then he accepted the cup and blew on it for a moment before taking a sip.

“So,” he said conversationally, “Mama Katsuki taught you to make her special recovery tea?”

“Yeah,” Yuuri affirmed, smiling ruefully, “because when I was older, but still underage, and I was competing in Japan, Dad would sometimes go with me, and we’d get dinner after. Sometimes he’d get a little too into celebrating, so I would make the tea to comfort him.”

Victor glanced down at the tea in his cup, then he looked up at Yuuri, who stood by the bed, watching him.

“The tea is very good…very comforting,” he acknowledged, “but I think I would be even more comforted if you would lie down with me, Yuuri.”

Yuuri smirked very slightly and gave him a smoldering look.

“I don’t know,” he teased, “you disappear and I hear you’re up here, and I see those pictures on the news of you up here, skating and boating and eating at the lodge café with another man…”

“Yuuri,” Victor complained, “I’ve already explained about me coming here and about the pictures. I thought you forgave me, _solnyshko_!”

Yuuri’s dark eyes narrowed.

“I said that I believed you when you said that nothing happened. I didn’t _actually_ say that you were forgiven, did I?”

Victor smirked and rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

“I suppose not,” he agreed, “I did cause you some trouble, some embarrassment.”

“You did,” Yuuri affirmed, watching closely as Victor swallowed more of the soothing tea, “and when we go home tomorrow, we’ll deal with that. For tonight, I’ll lie down with you and take care of you.”

Victor gave him a befuddled look and whimpered, “No sex, Yuuri?”

“Not tonight,” Yuuri insisted, slipping off his shoes and climbing into the bed as Victor laid down again and snuggled around him.

“You’re punishing me,” Victor complained, “because you’re still mad at me for the trouble I caused you.”

Yuuri opened one narrowed brown eye and looked back over his shoulder.

“Tonight I’m taking care of you,” he repeated, “Tomorrow, we can talk about your punishment.”

Victor descended instantly into a fit of giggles as his lover gave him a flustered look and shook his head and sighed resignedly.

“You are impossible,” Yuuri complained.

But the arms that held Victor Nikiforov and the gentle fingers that caressed his hair as he dropped off to sleep said something quite different.


	6. A Heart so Full

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry for the long wait while I got this chapter ready. I'll apologize in advance for stopping where it does, but I realized that I am going to need an entire chapter for the lovemaking that results from the events in this chapter, soooooo, yeah, I extended it one more. The last chapter is already about a third done. I just have to stop every now and then for a cold shower and something to eat...like dark, melted chocolate...you know. Anyway, I'll get back to that while you enjoy this installment. Thanks so much to everyone reading and commenting on this story. You are the best! Love to all, Spunky (aka ImaTastyPorkCutletBowl)

Yuuri was sure that there had never been such a morning, when he woke to find Victor Nikiforov, a man known to rise every day, without fail, before dawn, curled around him and fast asleep at half past ten in the morning. Even though Yuuri was sure they’d gone to bed wearing clothes, both were completely naked, and their pajamas laid, rumpled and entangled in the mess of bedding.

_Because even though we haven’t had sex yet, we couldn’t seem to stop kissing each other. And while Victor is usually the one who is more intense in our touching and kissing, I have to admit that just the thoughts, the worries I had about us when I was on my way here, made me feel as desperate for the contact as he was. I think Victor liked that he wasn’t alone in wanting as much intimate contact as possible. Sometimes I get a little anxious because it feels like he might just leave off playing with me, and eat me alive._

Victor hardly looked dangerous the way he was, his pale flesh softly glowing, silvery hair all disheveled and his lips smiling even while he slept.

_It’s good to see him happy. I didn’t feel good making him worry._

_He’s so beautiful! Victor doesn’t even have to try. Just lying there, sleeping naked like that, his beauty makes my heart ache. Looking at him now, it’s clear to me why I was feeling so overwhelmed before. Victor is so handsome and charming and talented, all I could see when I got close to him was how I didn’t measure up._

_Yeah, the truth is that it wasn’t really Victor’s fault at all that I left. He was so sure that he’d done something wrong, that he’d come on too strong and spooked me. Honestly, I just felt like I wasn’t good enough for him…like I wasn’t enough for him. That was stupid. When I went to his…I mean, when I went to our house and really looked inside, the signs were everywhere! I wasn’t imposing and I’m not just good enough, I am exactly what Victor wants. I am the one Victor needs._

_How do I let him know that I understand now?_

Yuuri loved the sweet little sighing sounds that the Russian made while he slept, and way that Victor’s graceful fingers clung to him, like they couldn’t bear the thought of him not being there. And while he had felt anxious about whether or not he was deserving of Victor’s love before, Yuuri felt new confidence swelling in his heart. He curved a hand around his sleeping lover’s cheek and Victor stirred, his lovely blue-green eyes slowly opening and focusing on Yuuri’s as Victor smiled at him in greeting.

“Yuuri,” he sighed sleepily, moving to meet his lover for a slow, open-mouthed kiss.

“How are you feeling?” Yuuri asked, caressing the messy hairs over his lover’s eye, “Do you need some more recovery tea? I can make you some if you want.”

“I’m okay,” Victor assured him, “I feel a lot better just having you here.”

Loving fingers traced Yuuri’s face and ran along the sides of his neck.

“I feel better being here with you,” Yuuri responded, turning his head to kiss his lover’s warm fingertips, “I didn’t like being away from you.”

“Hmm,” Victor huffed softly, “then, why did you leave?”

“I don’t know,” Yuuri admitted solemnly, “I guess that even though I know how you feel about me, and I know you want me to live with you, I have trouble believing it’s me who should be here, not someone…someone else.”

“There is no one else and there is not ever going to be,” Victor said, matter-of-factly, continuing to tenderly caress and kiss his lover’s face, “I have all that I need right here.”

“Do you?” Yuuri asked anxiously, “because sometimes I can’t help but wonder if I can really be all that you need.”

“Yuuri, don’t be silly,” the silvery-haired Russian chided him affectionately, “I may have been impulsive in dropping everything and running to Hasetsu to coach you, but I think in all of this time we’ve been together, you’ve more than proven you are everything I’d hoped and dreamed you’d be…and you are more.”

“Yeah,” Yuuri sighed, “more trouble, more anxious, more unsure of myself.”

“Sure, you are all of those things,” Victor chuckled.

“Hey!” Yuuri objected.

“But…you are also beautiful, loving and stronger than you know. You need to give yourself more credit, _solnyshko_. Of all of the people in the world, you are the only one who could sweep me off my feet and seduce me like this. You have to forget everything else and just accept that, for me, there is only you and there will only ever be you.”

“I know,” Yuuri answered anxiously, “I hear you. I just…maybe I just think you should have someone better.”

“There is no one better. Believe me, I’ve looked. No one was right for me and honestly, no one could put up with me. You can barely put up with me.”

“That’s not true,” Yuuri insisted, “Vitya, it’s not you who I doubt mostly…it’s me.”

“I know that, and I really hope that now you can put those fears behind you and come home with me. We’ve gotten through everything up to now. We just have to take one or two more steps and I know we’ll have a wonderful, happy future together. If you can just trust me…trust yourself, Yuuri. You will see.”

Yuuri cuddled closer to Victor’s warm, naked body and nodded into his lover’s muscular shoulder.

“I will. I’ll trust you.”

“Then,” Victor said, sitting up and bringing Yuuri up with him, “I think it’s time for us to go home, _da_?

Yuuri drew in a little shaky breath.

“Yeah, I agree it’s time.”

An attempt to retrieve their clothing from the tumbled bedsheets led to Yuuri’s hand bumping into his silver-haired lovers and Victor’s ocean blue eyes twinkled as he caught the Japanese man’s hand and kissed Yuuri’s fingertips. Yuuri’s eyelids fluttered and his face flushed pink.

“Oh my god, you’re so cute!” Victor giggled, surging forward and bringing still naked Yuuri down onto his back.

“V-Victor s-stooooooooop!” Yuuri laughed, “Stop it! I th-thought you wanted t-go home!”

“Oh, we’ll get to that, my prrrrrrecious little katsudon,” Victor purred, holding him down, “but after seducing me with that naughty touching, you must expect I will ravish you a bit.”

“I wasn’t…it…it wasn’t n-naughty touching!” Yuuri panted, laughing and turning his head away as Victor smothered him with more kisses, “My hand just…!”

Victor’s eyes narrowed mischievously.

“I know what it just,” he teased, taking Yuuri’s hand in his, “Now, it will do something I want.”

It took several minutes of rolling around on the bed and both young men were flushed and laughing as they rolled off the edge and fell onto the floor together. They froze as someone pounded on the wall and Yurio’s angry voice sounded.

“Will you two fucking stop playing around in there? God, why did that asshole have to give us a room next to those idiots?”

“Good morning, Yurio!” the two called out cheerfully, “Morning Otabeck!”

“Morning?” Yurio huffed, “It’s practically noon!”

“Practically noon,” Victor repeated emphatically, “What will we do?”

Yuuri stood and fished his clothes out of the bedding and headed into the bathroom, leaving Victor gazing after him for a moment before he grabbed his clothes and followed. He reached the bathroom door only to find it closed and locked.

“Yuuri!” he complained, “Yuuri, open the door. I have to get ready too.”

“Oh, no you don’t,” Yuuri chided him through the closed door, “I know what will happen if I let you in here while I’m dressing. It’ll take twice as long because you’ll spend the whole time trying to take my clothes off again as fast as I put them on.”

“Hmpf, no fun at all,” Victor sighed, walking back to the bed and setting his clothes down again.

He picked up his suitcase and set it on the bed to search briefly for something clean to wear. He dressed quickly, then sat down on the bed to wait. His blue-green eyes strayed to look out the window, into the lovely, clear sky.

_It’ll be good to go home. I was so worried and sad before. All I want is to be home, curled up on the sofa with Yuuri, doing normal things…just, they won’t feel normal because instead of doing all of those things alone, I’ll be doing them with Yuuri._

_I don’t care if he’s not ready for sex._

_I don’t mind if he sometimes gets mad at me._

_As long as I know that he is going to stay, everything else will be better._

Victor’s breath caught in surprise as he realized that the door to the bathroom had opened and Yuuri was standing in the doorway, looking at him intently.

“What is it, _solnyshko_? Is everything all right?” he asked curiously.

“Oh…” Yuuri said, looking flustered at being caught staring, “I…I just…you looked so happy, sitting there, looking out at the sky. I wondered what you were thinking about.”

Victor’s smile widened and warmed.

“It’s kind of funny,” he admitted, “I was thinking of the most silly, normal things, but they didn’t seem so normal, because I was thinking of what it would be like to do those things with you in our home.”

Yuuri’s expression grew into a look of helpless happiness.

“I was thinking about that too,” he confessed.

For a moment, the two held each others’ gaze, as though daydreaming together. Then Victor nodded and stood. Yuuri moved aside to let him into the bathroom, but as Victor reached the doorway, he stepped back into the elder man’s path and met him with a long, passionate kiss that left Victor nearly breathless.

“What was that for?”

Yuuri blushed and shrugged.

“Just…because.”

Victor chuckled and gave him a little parting kiss on the nose, then entered the bathroom. When he emerged a short time later, he found Yuuri in the room, chatting with Yurio, Otabek and Antosha.

“Good morning,” he greeted the others.

“More like afternoon,” Antosha chuckled, giving him an appraising look, “But it looks like the extra _sleep_ was good for you, Vitya.”

“Yeah, sure didn’t sound like they were sleeping,” Yurio complained.

“You’d think with a boyfriend as sexy as Otabek, he wouldn’t be so interested in what we were doing,” Victor said, smirking.

Yuuri swatted him on the arm.

“Ow!”

“You deserve it, you jackass,” Yurio snickered, “Hit him again, katsudon.”

“Hmm, maybe before violence breaks out here, we should go and see about getting some lunch,” Otabek suggested.

“There’s a lunch cruise on the lake,” Antosha suggested.

Yurio exchanged glances with Otabek and nodded.

“Sounds good.”

He turned his attention to Yuuri and Victor.

“What about you two?” he asked, “Are you coming too?”

“Eh,” Victor hedged, “I think Yuuri and I had better get back to Saint Petersburg. Yakov’s going to be yelling at both of us a lot already. If you’re lucky, he’ll be done by the time you two get back and you won’t have to listen.”

“Let me walk you down to the car,” Antosha offered, “Yuri, Otabek, I’ll meet you at the dock.”

The two younger men headed out of the room and Antosha engaged Yuuri in friendly conversation while Victor gathered his belongings. The three then left the room together and Victor checked out and called for the car. Antosha remained with them until their driver arrived, then he shook Yuuri’s hand in farewell and hugged Victor.

“You stay out of trouble,” he chuckled.

Victor laughed.

“What fun would that be?” he teased.

Antosha said something more softly in Russian, then he watched as they climbed into the waiting car.

“What was that he said?” Yuuri asked as their driver took them out of the inn lot and onto the highway.

Victor looked back behind them, his eyes soft.

“He said that he wished us all of the happiness.”

Back in the parking lot, Antosha watched the car drive away, then he started to turn to go back inside, not noticing as a tall Japanese woman with long brown hair climbed out of another car.

“Excuse me,” she called out to him, “do you speak English?”

Antosha looked more closely at the woman and broke into a charming smile.

“Why yes,” he answered, “I do. Aren’t you Minako Okukawa, the dancer?”

“Wha…huh? You…?”

She gave Antosha another look and recognition flashed in her eyes.

“You’re Anton Karlovsky.”

“If it wasn’t for all of the news attention lately, I’d be flattered you remembered,” Antosha joked.

“Well, I have seen you on the news since the stuff about you and Victor’s been pretty much everywhere.”

Antosha sighed.

“That’s partly why I’m glad to live up here, away from the city,” he commented wearily, “But, what can I do for you? you are Yuuri Katsuki’s ballet instructor, _da_?”

“Well, I was until he moved to Russia to live with Victor,” Minako answered, “I was actually supposed to be visiting Yuuri in Saint Petersburg, but when I got there, Yakov told me he’d come up here to work things out with Victor. I thought I’d better come up here and make sure those two were okay.”

“Oh,” Antosha chuckled, “Yuuri and Vitya are fine. In fact, you just missed them. They are on their way back to get an earful from Yakov.”

“Ugh, well that sounds like all kinds of fun,” Minako said dryly, looking around, “I guess I’d better call for a ride back. I hope Yuuri’s gonna help out with the cost, since he’s the one who forgot I was coming.”

She started to reach for her cell phone, but her hand stopped short of her coat as Antosha spoke to her again.

“Well, since you are here, why don’t you at least let me show you around? There are a couple of skaters here that I think you know…Yuri Plisetsky and Otabek Altin?”

“Yeah, I know them.”

“We were about to go on a lunch cruise on the lake…my treat, if you’d like,” the Russian man said, tilting his head and smiling invitingly.

Minako couldn’t remember the last time someone had made her blush so easily.

“W-well,” she laughed, reaching out as he offered an arm, “I guess there’s plenty of time to explore a little before I go back and kick Yuuri’s butt for forgetting I was coming.”

XXXXXXXXXX

Yuuri leaned quietly against Victor’s shoulder, gazing out the window of the car as it carried them back to Saint Petersburg. Aside from exchanging a few words with their driver, Victor was quiet as well, just lacing his fingers together with Yuuri’s and dozing with his cheek against the top of Yuuri’s head. Several hours later, they reached the Russian city and the car deposited them in front of Victor’s dark, quiet house. Victor thanked the driver, then walked with Yuuri to the front door. He pushed his key into the lock and opened door, stepping into the entry alongside Yuuri, who had begun to watch him closely.

Victor flicked on the lights and froze, staring at the home’s changed interior.

The differences might have seemed inconsequential, a few added pictures on the walls, a few small pieces of furniture, some throw pillows and books. Yes, the number of things wasn’t large, but… _the spaces they filled_!

All of the breath seemed to leave the stunned Russian skater’s body and Victor sank to his knees in the entry, his blue-green eyes brimming with happy tears.

“V-Vitya!” Yuuri gasped, dropping down with him, “Vitya, are you all right? I…I’m sorry! We can change it back if you…!”

Victor couldn’t gather his voice enough to speak, but he shook his head fervently and grabbed Yuuri’s shaking hands in his. He kissed the pale fingertips, then Yuuri’s still objecting mouth. Several minutes of intense kissing ensued before Victor finally recovered his voice and pulled back to smile at his flustered lover.

“Sorry, Yuuri,” he apologized, “I’m fine, really. It’s just…coming in and finding it just the way I’d dreamed it…I was overcome. It’s like…we had the same dream.”

He looked around again, shaking his head more slowly.

“No, it’s better than I dreamed it.”

Yuuri smiled and helped Victor to his feet.

“Maybe you kind of get how I felt, coming in here and suddenly realizing that it’s all real. I’m really going to live with you, and we’re getting married. I was happy, Victor. I truly was. I just got overwhelmed at first, and I needed time to see that I wasn’t imposing and I’m not going to be a burden on you.”

“You could never be a burden on me, Yuuri.”

“But, I kind of will be,” Yuuri insisted, “It’s going to be hard for you to coach me and see to your own programs and training. I know you can do it, but I was anxious and feeling guilty for troubling you.”

“You aren’t…”

“I know,” Yuuri said reassuringly, hugging Victor tightly, “It took coming here while you were gone for me to see that you weren’t just making a place for me, there were lonely places you _needed me_ to fill. I may make you have to work harder, but I have something you need also.”

“You do,” Victor sighed, hugging him back, “and if you’re ready, there’s something we can do to make this house our home.”

“What?” Yuuri chuckled, “Burn in the new oven?”

“Not exactly the kind of fire I was thinking of,” Victor laughed, tugging him towards the master bedroom.

“Oh, I see where this is going,” Yuuri snickered, letting himself be tugged along.

Victor stopped at the bedroom door and turned to look down into Yuuri’s brown eyes.

“Are you sure this is okay?” he asked, “I mean, we can wait for our wedding, if you want. I just thought that…”

“It’s fine,” Yuuri assured him.

“Really?” Victor asked hopefully, “We can go all of the way this time?”

“Yeah,” Yuuri agreed, nodding and blushing, “okay. Anyway, I guess I can’t stay a virgin forever.”

“And I guess that I can’t stay an anal virgin,” Victor giggled, opening the bedroom door.

Yuuri’s brown eyes widened, then they rounded in shock.

“Y-you’re…? But, I thought…!” he stammered.

Victor gave him a wicked smirk and shrugged.

“I never had sex with a man before,” he said matter-of-factly, “Just women.”

Yuuri stared back at him in silence, unable to think of what to say in response.

“Come, Yuuri,” Victor said more softly.

His arm curled around his slighter partner and he busied Yuuri’s mouth with a soft barrage of tender kisses as they stumbled to the plush, oversized king bed, shedding clothing all of the way. He felt Yuuri’s slim body tense as the backs of his legs made contact with the edge of the bed, and he locked eyes with the Japanese man, carefully reading his expression.

“Are you all right?” he whispered, tracing Yuuri’s half-smiling lips with a fingertip, “We can wait until you are ready.”

Yuuri’s brown eyes locked on Victor’s and he sucked in a shuddering breath. He forced it out again, then breathed in and out slowly, relaxing a little more with each breath. Reading his expression, Victor held his gaze silently, giving him the time he sensed his anxious partner needed to find the right words. Finally, Yuuri’s smile slowly returned.

“That’s one of the things I love the most about you,” he confessed softly, still staring into Victor’s blue-green eyes raptly, “You pay attention, you…keep digging until you understand what I need and you never fail to give it to me, even if it hurts you to do it.”

“Yuuri, I’m not hurt.”

“I did hurt you,” Yuuri insisted, moving his face closer to the Russian man’s, still looking deeply into Victor’s eyes, “We’ve hurt each other sometimes along the way, but we didn’t stop trying and that’s what got us here.”

He paused for another long, slow breath and curved his hands around Victor’s comely face.

“Do you know that I used to dream about this?”

“What? Us?” Victor asked, his voice shaking very slightly, “Being together? Having sex, Yuuri?”

“I dreamed of putting my arms around you,” Yuuri went on, “and having your arms around me. I dreamed of looking into your eyes and seeing just what I see right now.”

“Love?”

“Yeah, love,” Yuuri agreed, “but more than just that. I dreamed of seeing your desire, seeing you waiting…wanting your desires to be fulfilled, but _only by me_.”

“Yuuri…”

“There was nothing,” Yuuri went on, “no logical reason that the most beautiful and talented male figure skater would ever have a reason to look at me with those eyes. He had no reason at all to desire me. I knew that, but even though I knew it was the truth, something in me just wouldn’t accept it.”

Victor’s smile warmed and he turned his head slightly to kiss the gentle fingertips that caressed his face, at the same time keeping his eyes locked on the dark, beautiful eyes of his lover.

“So, you reached for that desire, even though doing it wasn’t easy,” Victor added.

“All along, never knowing if all of my effort might be for nothing. I focused on two things…expressing my love for you through skating and reaching for you.”

“And that was what caught my attention and led me to Hasetsu.”

“No,” Yuuri chuckled, “ _That_ was just me getting drunk and kinda stupid at the Grand Prix Final banquet.”

“You were _adorable_!” Victor gushed, “I was so flattered.”

“But overcoming my fears and confessing to you wasn’t enough. I had to show you.”

“And thank god for the triplets and their viral video,” Victor chuckled.

“Yeah. Finally… _finally_ you knew what I wanted and you saw what lengths I would go to, to get it.”

“I did,” Victor agreed, “and I also saw that giving you what you most desired, what you most needed, was also the way for me to find what I most desired and needed. You wanted me to see you and I wanted you…”

“To fill the empty places in your life,” Yuuri finished, “I knew that when I came to Saint Petersburg, but when I saw it happening, I was…overwhelmed.”

“Things moved too quickly,” Victor reasoned, “I understand now…and I really will wait for you, until you feel ready…for living with me and for everything else.”

“You don’t have to wait anymore,” Yuuri said, kissing him, “I’m ready to look into your eyes and tell you what I’ve thought for so long, what I repeated to myself a million times until I was strong enough to make it come true.”

“Yuuri…?” Victor whispered, shivering under the weight of the other man’s eyes.

“ _I_ am the only one who can satisfy you, Vitya…only me. I am the only one who can fill the empty spaces in your mind, in your heart and in your body. I’m not afraid to say it and I’m not afraid to show you why it’s the truth.”

Victor swallowed hard and nodded, then he pulled free of the other man and laid down on his back on the bed, reaching up with one hand invitingly.

“Come then,” he breathed softly, “show me, Yuuri.”


End file.
